Upon talking to several friends about the obscene amount of money I hand over to Charter Communications each month, I realized that the company is (ass) raping me for Internet service. Annoyed and poor, I hop on their website and click the customer service link. 404 message. Of course. So I click a link from their last email to me and …. SUCCESS! Until i have to actually talk to one of their representatives, who I’m pretty sure are either fourth graders or zombies, pecking away at their keyboards and drooling onto their sleeves. And so I give you our chat:
Thank you for choosing Charter Chat Live! A Customer Care representative from Cable TV Order Inquiries will be with you shortly.
You have been connected to DAC Kameron .
DAC Kameron : My name is DAC Kameron. Thank you for contacting Charter Sales department! How are you today and how may I assist you?
Sara Fraser: hi, i think i need to talk to someone else. need to discuss bill.
DAC Kameron : Was this a billing issue, or were you wanting to check into other packages, etc?
Sara Fraser: billing issue [editor’s note: I JUST SAID THAT, Donkey]
Sara Fraser: i tried to go through the customer help page on website but got 404 message (oh, the IRONY)
DAC Kameron : Okay, not a problem, one moment and I can bring a billing rep on the line with us.
Sara Fraser: thanks
DAC Kameron has left the session.
Please wait while we find an agent from the CHAT – DUMA – Billing Inquiries department to assist you.
You have been connected to TTD Sophie .
TTD Sophie : Hi! My name is Sophie. Thank you for contacting Charter Communications. How can I help you today?
Sara Fraser: hi sophie
Sara Fraser: my bill, for months, was around 75 dollars (which is still fairly obscene for one television and internet). last month, however, bill jumped to more than 90.
Sara Fraser: why?
TTD Sophie : I can definitely take a look into your account and check on your bill.
TTD Sophie : I was able to pull up the account using the phone number you entered. Please verify the service address and the security code. Your security code is the four-digit code located at the upper right corner of the billing statement.
Sara Fraser: [Editor’s note: address/code removed so y’all don’t try to steal my shitty Internet]
TTD Sophie : Thank you. May I please have your contact email address? The contact email address is where we send notifications when the monthly statement is available online or to confirm payment processing.
Sara Fraser: firstname.lastname@example.org
TTD Sophie : Thank you. The email address you entered matches the one on the account. We’ll be sending important updates relating to your account to this email address. [editor’s note: i hate this company.]
TTD Sophie : Thank you. Please give me a moment to go over your account.
TTD Sophie : Thank you. May I please have your contact email address? The contact email address is where we send notifications when the monthly statement is available online or to confirm payment processing. [editor’s note: uhhhhh.]
TTD Sophie : I’m sorry, this is an error message. Please disregard. Thank you.
Sara Fraser: dear god.
TTD Sophie : Thank you for waiting. The reason for the increase is because your promotion for internet is over. You are now on a full rate from $29.
TTD Sophie : I’m sorry, you are now on a full rate from $29.99 to $44.99.
Sara Fraser: right, right. but i can get internet with at&t for 19.95.
Sara Fraser: And my total internet charges aren’t 44.99. they are 64.98, and that’s udicrous
Sara Fraser: ludicrous, even [editor’s note: i was mad. When angry, I typo.]
TTD Sophie : I’m sorry about that.
Sara Fraser: ahahaa.
Sara Fraser: i’m sure you are.
Sara Fraser: ok, i’ll just call back to cancel after i switch to AT&T. thanks for the tremendous help.
TTD Sophie : You are welcome. Is there anything else I can assist you with?
Sara Fraser: uuuuuuuuugh.