Success

Home from NA meeting and I’m watching some crap about drug trafficking. Apropos? Eh, there’s nothing else on. The meeting began with a guy sharing about procrastination. I sighed inwardly, finding the topic rather dull. I like to feel at meetings. I want soul-wrenching tales of getting clean and staying clean. Is that sick? Prooobably. But I find that in the rooms of NA, I can actually cry. Catharsis.

 

This is the way to wah.

 

The topic changed, as it does in a room full of vastly different people with vastly different experiences. Someone shared about their concept of success and how we define that. I realize how utterly easy that is for me — success is staying sober. Sure, I want to do well at work and be a model parent and quit smoking and do yoga but…. really? If I lose my sobriety, I’ll certainly lose everything else. While I may fail at a myriad of other endeavors (and I do often), each day that passes sober is a pure, easy, simple success. How gorgeous is that? Yeah, it is.

I have 127 days today. I don’t keep track of my time but my friend Jeremy does for me, and I’m thankful. And now, I’m going to celebrate this success with some grocery-store pizza and a Diet Coke.

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6 Comments

Filed under Recovery

6 responses to “Success

  1. Dan

    Gotta like 127 days! Count ’em, you’ve earned them. Proud of you.

  2. AD

    Resonated with me. I find it impossible to cry, even in the most tragic situations. 128, 129, 130. Miss you.

  3. David O'connor

    Well done Sara . I found that my life of sobriety became a little more predictable and possibly more ” boring” in the beginning . But ! It’s the big picture that changes ever so gradually , positive behaviour =positive changes in your world . Our choices are so important to be true to ourselves and the ones we love . This is a mature and beautifully ” selfish ” step you have taken . David xx

    • sarafraser

      Thanks for reading and for commenting, Dave. Boredom > hangovers, eh? A good friend of mine told me that life is simply a series of choices. We make them, we face the consequences, we move on. The important part is the making, the avoidance of indecision. Best.Advice.Evar. Anyhoo, I’m happy that you’re doing well, and again, thank you for stopping by.

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