I’m bloated. I’m gross. I’m never eating again. Damn you, Fresh Market. Damn you, Jelly Bellys. Damn you, Dr. Brown’s. Also, I was running late this morning so just grabbed a pair of jeans out of the closet, threw them on, and didn’t take much notice. Now, to my horror, I’m convinced that these pantaloons qualify for “mom jean” status. Just kill me.