Monday’s Observations & Musings:

I would like two. I will settle for one.

I would like two. I will settle for one.

  • Just because it happened to you doesn’t mean it’s interesting.
  • Don’t worry about money. Just buy the large slab of Swiss cheese and smile.
  • Another person’s hangover is a certain reminder of the beauty of sobriety (64 dayz).
  • UK English dictates that you say, “To cater for a banquet,” and not, “To cater a banquet.”
  • Parasites can burrow into your brain and cause hallucinations, coma and death. Preventative measures: Do not eat pork, wash your hands after cleaning the litter box and stay away from doo doo.
  • Empirical observation suggests that a pre-schooler’s fingernails grow at fourteen times the rate of an adult’s.
  • Certain cure for the Monday yuck: Light a pumpkin-scented candle, grab a Diet Coke and watch a show about poor fucks with parasites. Your life is good.
  • I want a ragdoll cat. Provide me with one of these and I will write you a poem. Maybe even a haiku.
  • The spleen does have a purpose; I just can’t remember what that purpose is.
  • After two days of being convinced that I had either the Swine Flu, Fibromyalgia or tuberculosis, I now realize that I was just bored.


Filed under Utterly Random

2 responses to “Monday’s Observations & Musings:

  1. Aimes

    Maybe Terrence Howard would endorse this post….

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