So…. I walk outside to go to the mailbox. We have a little gross pond in our front yard. This:
I see something and pause. What is that? Oh, that’s just the bloated belly of a poor, dead frog. Or toad. I do not know the difference. Poor, dumb little fuck. I mean, he obviously drowned. A frog. That. Drowned. He musta panicked. I mean, there’s a little ledge in the pool (I checked) that he coulda easily hopped onto, then out of the pool. Despite his obvious lack of innovation, I feel sad, and a tad guilty. Why didn’t I see him? Why didn’t I empty the pool? So, I do what anyone faced with such horror would do. I get this:
I scoop him out. He stinks. But he’s still a handsome guy.
I thought about burying him and shit, but it was raining. And people kept driving by, staring at me. What? What?! You haven’t ever seen a woman holding a frog in a ladle and taking pictures?