Second in the series of creepy-kid junk? Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater.
Peter Peter pumpkin eater
Had a wife and couldn’t keep her;
He put her in a pumpkin shell
And there he kept her very well.
This badboy didn’t show up until a later version of Mother Goose, published in Boston (1825). That said, it seems suspiciously similar to this, originating in Scotland:
Peter, my neeper,
Had a wife,
And he couidna’ keep her,
He pat her i’ the wa’,
And lat a’ the mice eat her.
And that seems to originate from this (also Scotland – sickos):
Eeper Weeper, chimbly sweeper,
Had a wife but couldn’t keep her.
Had another, didn’t love her,
Up the chimbly he did shove her.
Either way – we’ve got some sick shit going on. And however you look at it, the wife’s miserable existence comes to an even more miserable end.
- Why does Peter like pumpkins so much? I mean, I like a nice pumpkin pie (or bread, or muffin) as much as the next girl, but how much pumpkin does one have to eat in order to earn the moniker, “Pumpkin Eater?”
- Bitch was cheating on Peter, but really? I get the feeling that Creepy Pete wasn’t exactly a prime catch. He’s got control issues. He certainly has an anger problem. And homicidal tendencies?
- Peter’s wee willy winkie is probably very wee indeed.
- I’m pretty sure he drives a Porsche.
- Whether Peter actually killed his wife (in the first, it’s questionable; in the second two, it’s pretty clear) is up for debate, but is life spent in a pumpkin shell a life at all? I’d bet Wedgy’s doesn’t deliver to that part of town. And there’s prolly no Wi-Fi.