Death or Pumpkin-imprisoned Eternity?

Second in the series of creepy-kid junk? Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater.

Peter Peter pumpkin eater
Had a wife and couldn’t keep her;
He put her in a pumpkin shell
And there he kept her very well.

This badboy didn’t show up until a later version of Mother Goose, published in Boston (1825). That said, it seems suspiciously similar to this, originating in Scotland:

Peter, my neeper,
Had a wife,
And he couidna’ keep her,
He pat her i’ the wa’,
And lat a’ the mice eat her.

And that seems to originate from this (also Scotland – sickos):

Eeper Weeper, chimbly sweeper,
Had a wife but couldn’t keep her.
Had another, didn’t love her,
Up the chimbly he did shove her.

Either way – we’ve got some sick shit going on. And however you look at it, the wife’s miserable existence comes to an even more miserable end.

  1. Why does Peter like pumpkins so much? I mean, I like a nice pumpkin pie (or bread, or muffin) as much as the next girl, but how much pumpkin does one have to eat in order to earn the moniker, “Pumpkin Eater?”
  2. Bitch was cheating on Peter, but really? I get the feeling that Creepy Pete wasn’t  exactly a prime catch. He’s got control issues. He certainly has an anger problem. And homicidal tendencies?
  3. Peter’s wee willy winkie is probably very wee indeed.
  4. I’m pretty sure he drives a Porsche.
  5. Whether Peter actually killed his wife (in the first, it’s questionable; in the second two, it’s pretty clear) is up for debate, but is life spent in a pumpkin shell a life at all? I’d bet Wedgy’s doesn’t deliver to that part of town. And there’s prolly no Wi-Fi.
Yes, it's creepy.

Yes, it's creepy.

Even better.

Even better.

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2 Comments

Filed under Preschool, Utterly Random

2 responses to “Death or Pumpkin-imprisoned Eternity?

  1. Dan Whipkey

    I love pumpkins cookies, but that doesn’t make me a serial killer….I don’t think.

    • sarafraser

      I don’t think I’ve ever had a pumpkin cookie. As long as you’re not wielding a machete whilst eating said cookie, I think you’re in the clear.

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