Get Your New Phobia Here

Hong (my buddy Thomas, but he looks like a Hong. Plus, he calls me, “Gomez.” Fair is fair.) and I were talking about phobias. I dunno why, but he linked me to a ginormous list (he also linked me to every friggin’ peeping-tom sex offender in our area code.)

HONG: Luiphobia, Syphilophobia – Fear of syphilis. Lutraphobia – Fear of otters.

sara: Yes. yes.

sara: Malaxophobia, Sarmassophobia – Fear of love play.

sara: what, pray tell, is love play?

HONG: Pteronophobia – Fear of being tickled by feathers.

HONG: but if it’s not a feather?

sara: No fear?

sara: Walloonphobia – Fear of the Walloon people or their languages

sara: WTF. What’s a Walloon? (I later looked it up)

HONG: Did you see the one that said masterbation?

HONG: Is that spelled correctly?

sara: Masturbation

sara: U

sara: Life goal: meet one person with each of these.

sara: like a sick bucket list

HONG: Teleophobia – Fear of definite plans or of religious ceremony.

HONG: How is that an “or?”

HONG: definite plans OR religious ceremony?

sara: Well. I have definite plan NOT to attend a religious ceremony.

HONG: I have the tape worms and tetanus covered

HONG: Those scare me.

sara: Tape worms are no joke.

HONG: Yup

HONG: Freak me out

HONG: Rhabdophobia – Fear of being severely punished or beaten with a rod, or of being severely criticized. Also fear of magic.

 HONG: What? How does magic relate?

sara: Like a wand?

 HONG: Ah

sara: A magic wand

HONG: Good job

HONG: I so wanna meet somebody with that and I will chase them screaming

sara: When i was little we lived in these apartments

sara: And this girl, lashanda, lived up the street from me

sara: She had worms once

sara: And she told me that that if your butt itched, you too had the worms.

sara: So my butt would itch and i thought i had worms for like two years

sara: I didn’t realize she spoke of the actual, uh, HOLE

 sara: Horrifying experience.

HONG: Can I tell you the funniest part?

sara: Please

HONG: Lashanda

 sara: True story

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Get Your New Phobia Here

  1. Thomas

    I should be featured weekly.

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