Hong (my buddy Thomas, but he looks like a Hong. Plus, he calls me, “Gomez.” Fair is fair.) and I were talking about phobias. I dunno why, but he linked me to a ginormous list (he also linked me to every friggin’ peeping-tom sex offender in our area code.)
HONG: Luiphobia, Syphilophobia – Fear of syphilis. Lutraphobia – Fear of otters.
sara: Yes. yes.
sara: Malaxophobia, Sarmassophobia – Fear of love play.
sara: what, pray tell, is love play?
HONG: Pteronophobia – Fear of being tickled by feathers.
HONG: but if it’s not a feather?
sara: No fear?
sara: Walloonphobia – Fear of the Walloon people or their languages
sara: WTF. What’s a Walloon? (I later looked it up)
HONG: Did you see the one that said masterbation?
HONG: Is that spelled correctly?
sara: Life goal: meet one person with each of these.
sara: like a sick bucket list
HONG: Teleophobia – Fear of definite plans or of religious ceremony.
HONG: How is that an “or?”
HONG: definite plans OR religious ceremony?
sara: Well. I have definite plan NOT to attend a religious ceremony.
HONG: I have the tape worms and tetanus covered
HONG: Those scare me.
sara: Tape worms are no joke.
HONG: Freak me out
HONG: Rhabdophobia – Fear of being severely punished or beaten with a rod, or of being severely criticized. Also fear of magic.
HONG: What? How does magic relate?
sara: Like a wand?
sara: A magic wand
HONG: Good job
HONG: I so wanna meet somebody with that and I will chase them screaming
sara: When i was little we lived in these apartments
sara: And this girl, lashanda, lived up the street from me
sara: She had worms once
sara: And she told me that that if your butt itched, you too had the worms.
sara: So my butt would itch and i thought i had worms for like two years
sara: I didn’t realize she spoke of the actual, uh, HOLE
sara: Horrifying experience.
HONG: Can I tell you the funniest part?
sara: True story