Under Pressure

I’m stressed. Very, very stressed. Between the book proposal, a new project at work, mediocre parenting, my Marlboro habit and finding a kick-ass Halloween costume — well, I have no time for anything. Other than a few hours each day for Facebook. Or texting. Or, ok, pooping.

natalie dee
nataliedee.com

So anyhoo, I completely spent my entire day reworking the book’s prologue. That was due on Friday. And then, after I send the draft to Anna and she writes back, I respond to inquire about the sample chapter that…well. Just read it:

“Ahhhh, gotcha. Well, let me know what you think, and what I need to do. I’m working my arse off, because I want to get the damned thing done. When (or are you even thinking of it) you gonna do sample chapter? Wait, you wanted me to do that. Shit. Motherfucker. I wrote the new prologue. Ok, no worries. Will do sample next week, by Friday (read: Sunday). And no, not on meth.”

Holy fucking potatoes. Me = Stressed.

Love you.

(p.s. – this email is my new antimommy blog)”

Yep. I did the totally wrong thing. I mean, what I wrote is amazing and all, but yeah. I. Did. The. Totally. Wrong. Thing. Know why? Because as I sneak into the office to write (the totally wrong thing), after a day of pumpkin patch and exemplary parenting, I hear strange noises coming from the den.

Anti-Daddy: Snicker, snicker

Kaiser: Pahahahahaha

Anti-Mommy: What are you guys doing?

Kaiser: Pahahahahaha

Mommy: Jed?

Anti-Daddy: What?

Mommy: What. The. Hell. Are. You. Doing?

Kaiser: Pahahahahah

Anti-Daddy: What? Nothing.

Kaiser: Shhhh. Daddy, shhh.

Mommy: Holy shit.

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Under Pressure

  1. Annabunnie

    Hilarious!!!

  2. La Feroce Bete

    this makes me so happy i could burst. i just want to kiss all over both of them!

  3. Annabunnie

    No worries about the prologue — send me the sample chapter when you have it!

    xo

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